FEAR

Yesterday, I felt fear.

I was working as a lawyer and my train of though was derailed.

My speech was not coherent. My ideas not succinct. The order of my questions were inconsistent.

I had to write my ideas down.

I was afraid.

You see. I always pride myself as a good speaker. Not just a good speaker but and exceptional extemporaneous speaker. In college I was a kick ass rebuttal speaker. I can detect and pinpoint from a distance the frays of a neatly packaged argument.

I could nitpick or bombard any argument.

I can think on my feet with a speed of light.

Oh hell! I just think I'm verbally gifted.

Thus the fear.

I felt that my brain was not cooperating.

I knew what i wanted to say.

I knew what was wrong with the arguments.

I could not produce a well thought out argument.

And I realize why.

I am rusty.

I should talk more.

I should participate more.

Instead of sulking in my more than a decade of pity party I should celebrate and go out. ;)